Derailed

I was at my local Blockbuster recently and let me tell you the whole rental movie store experience has definitely run its course. I now completely understand why online rental companies have become so popular. Who has the time or patience to deal with the overly friendly staff and unwashed masses only to find that the one movie you wanted to see is not in stock despite there being about 60 empty cases taunting you from the display shelf.

So it’s Friday night and I’ve been assigned the task of picking up the movie that a friend and I had decided on seeing. I thought actually agreeing on what movie to see would be the most painful part of the experience but I was sadly mistaken. So obviously with it being Friday night the unwashed masses are out in full force. As I enter the store I assume my usual demeanor when in public places. It involves remaining very focused on the task at hand and avoiding eye contact with people at any cost. Of course if you’ve been to Blockbuster you know that company policy dictates that all customers entering the store are greeted by a staff member. I guess that’s fine except that they do it in such a way that makes me wonder if they’ve been told that they’d be struck down by an act of God if they missed just one customer. So I make my way to the movie that we agreed on which happened to be “Derailed”. As I’m walking over to the shelf I can see that there are a ton of copies on the shelf. Of course as I get to the shelf I realize that none of them have the coveted empty case behind them. So I stand there for a minute gazing longingly at the shelf trying to plan my next move. As I’m doing this a Blockbuster associate approaches me and asks me “So, are you looking for something in particular?” I’m tempted to reply “No, nothing in particular. I just thought I’d stand here and stare at these empty “Derailed” cases until I figured out what I wanted to see.” Instead I say “Yeah, I was actually looking for a copy of ‘Derailed’”. To which he replies “Well it looks like we’re out of them.” Again I’m thinking “Wow, I hope that they’re paying you handsomely because you are definitely the closest thing to indispensable this organization will ever see.” Then he says, “How about ‘Just Like Heaven’, we have lots of copies in stock?” First of all, there’s a reason you have lots of copies in stock buddy and no I don’t want to see “Just Like Crap”. When he senses my disinterest he moves in for the hard sell. “You know Reese Witherspoon’s in the movie and she just won an Oscar.” Wow, I had no idea Roger Ebert worked part time at my local Blockbuster! Although last I checked I don’t think she won the Oscar for her turn in “Just Like Heaven”. I then started wondering if Blockbuster was now paying their employees on commission. Why else would this guy be so motivated to move copies of “Just Like Heaven”?

All's well that ends well I guess. I finally located a copy of "Derailed" three video stores later I might add. If you haven't seen it I thought it was pretty good. Although for me Clive Owen + just about anything = Entertaining.