Irregardless

I was talking to a friend a while ago who reads my blog and commented that based on my blog entries it sounded like I worked with a "bunch of idiots". For some reason this caught me off guard. Not because it wasn't true because for the record I do work with a bunch of idiots, but because I actually don't mind most of the people I work with. However, there are definitely a few of my co-workers that make this blog possible. We recently had a new addition to our team at work and it just wouldn't be me if something hadn't already gotten under my skin.

So this guy who I will refer to as "Mr. Bojangles" started about a month ago and I was pretty excited about getting the fresh meat around the office since I was kind of getting bored with the same people annoying me day in and day out. It was just starting to feel like family and that's just the sort of feeling that makes me want to head for the hills. So Mr. Bojangles is one of those young and really eager types who thinks he's going to change the world one Stephen Covey book at a time. There's actually some small part of me that really admires those kinds of people. Of course, after about a minute of admiration I move on to figuring out the quickest way to burst their Goodyear blimp size bubble. Don't get me wrong, I've been there myself before. Mind you, it was for about a week back in the late 90's before the cold world crushed my hopes and dreams and mocked my very unmanageable hair at every turn.

So it very quickly becomes clear that Mr. Bojangles is eager to make an immediate impression. On his first day he makes the rookie mistake of piping up in one of our meetings to offer his two cents of "wisdom", which despite the strong Canadian dollar ended up being more like half a cent. There were a couple of reasons this sort of perturbed me: 1) On your first day it's next to impossible to add any value unless it is to go and get me a cold drink while I'm thinking about the next intelligent thing I'm going to say. 2) If you are going to attempt to say something in a meeting on your first day, I would advise against the use of the word "irregardless". The main reason this is an ill-advised move is because IT IS NOT A WORD. All you need to say is "regardless" and now you're trying to sound like Mr. Fancy Pants with the big word which unfortunately has the exact opposite effect.

So Mr. Bojangles has now committed one of my most annoying verbal crimes. The reason the use of the word "irregardless" irks me so much is because it seems like there is a particular type of individual that insists on using this word. It's always that guy who's trying to sound smart. In fact, he actually may be smart since I've seen it go either way with this. Either way he's TRYING to sound smart. Plus, it seems like the people that use the word irregardless are rarely very thrifty with it. They act like it's their only $10 word and they're going to get more than their money's worth.

The other thing I noticed about 'jangles is that on his lunch breaks he goes and sits in his car and smokes. One day shortly after he started I was heading out to my car around lunch time and I noticed he was sitting in his vehicle with the windows down smoking like a chimney. I realize this isn't really a big deal but it just struck me as odd. I mean, if you're going to bother to go to your car to smoke why not take it one simple step further and put the key in the ignition, foot on the pedal and go somewhere a little more scenic than the employee parking lot which for the record could pretty much be anywhere on God's green earth! At first I thought maybe I was just catching him as he was returning from his lunch break but I've now seen him out there almost daily.

So far it looks like my new compadre is going to be around for a while. He's of below average intelligence, has no people skills, has no fashion sense and annoys me on a daily basis. This can only mean that he is bound to have a very long and prosperous career and at some point will probably be my boss.