I Heart Bob Costas

Is there any sporting event better than the Winter Olympics? Don’t bother answering because you won’t be able to convince me that there is. What other event gives you the combination of drama, intrigue, and most importantly the tight speedskating outfits. I know a lot of people have a problem with the tight outfits but in the winter Olympics the tight outfits don’t bother me. The tight outfits during the summer Olympics however make me want to toss my cookies. There’s the speedos that the swimmers wear, the shorty shorts the track & field athletes wear and don’t get me started on those little spandex jumpsuits the rowers wear. I understand that aerodynamics are important but come on where’s the dignity? My favourite event of the winter Olympics is definitely speed skating. I’m sure that the appeal of this sport would be lost if in fact I watched it more than just every four years. I particulary enjoy the short track events because of the crash and bang potential. And don’t even get me started on those Koreans? Where did they learn to skate like that? Who showed them how to make ice? Why are we wasting time trying to ban nuclear weapon production, how about banning whatever it is that they’re eating? Forget about national security, we’ve got national pride to think about.

The other great thing about the Olympics (and this doesn’t just apply to the winter Olympics) is the drama. What’s great about this aspect is that somehow no matter how boring a story could be, the producers at NBC manage to find a way of creating a compelling story out of absolutely nothing. For instance, this evening I was watching a downhill skiing event and of course whenever a non-American is up it’s important not to lose the viewing public’s interest. Everyone knows that rule #1 is that Non-American Athlete = Boring. To keep us interested they breakaway to one of those obligatory profiles of one of the American athletes. This one definitely did not disappoint. It was about one of the American skiers who had fought adversity while growing up on the mean streets of Topeka, Kansas. (I for one had no idea how dangerous south central Topeka can be.) Anyway, as if that weren’t enough his family had recently been struck by tragedy. His mom had suffered an unfortunate fall while leaving their suburban home a few weeks back and so this evening Jimmy was not just competing for himself but for his mother and more importantly for every other kid out there with a clumsy mother.

You know what else I love about NBC”s Olympic coverage? You guessed it, Bob Costas. Let me clarify that in most sport commentating scenarios Bob Costas annoys me to no end, but for some reason Bob covering the Olympics really works for me. I don’t know if it’s the sub-zero temperatures talking but I don’t mind his annoying banter and his unlimited capacity for useless statistics. In fact, I sort of enjoy it. The other thing I’ve noticed is that Bob is ageless. Is it just me or does he not look a day over Calgary 1988? What is your secret Bob? And on an unrelated note could you send me the number of your plastic surgeon immediately?