My Mind On My Money & My Money On My Mind

I think I know what Snoop Dogg was talking about now. I lost a $20 bill yesterday. Yeah, I know you're thinking "yeah, then what" but for some reason it was very frustrating and it's really stuck in my craw. I obviously don't know exactly when or where it happened and I didn't realize it until it was too late to retrace my steps. I know it's just $20 and that I waste money on a very regular basis but something about just losing money for no good reason is really annoying.

It reminded me of a somewhat similar situation that happened a couple of years ago. My sister was staying with me at the time and since she was "between opportunities" money was a little tight. One day I gave her $20 to pick up some some groceries. Before she left I gave her a talk reminiscent of the one Harry gives Lloyd in the movie "Dumb & Dumber". I gave her "the last of our dough" and instructed her to pick up "just the essentials" Okay, I didn't really give her a pep talk before she left but in hindsight maybe I should have.

As she left her mood was bright and there may have even been skipping and whistling. You know that feeling you got when you were a kid and your mom gave you a couple of dollars to go buy candy at the store? Yeah, me neither but I think this was what it would have looked like. Unfortunately, within a few minutes she returned to my apartment empty handed and looking rather dejected. I thought maybe she had forgotten something but as it turned out she got to the store and realized she had lost the $20 somewhere on the way to the store. I was worried that at this rate, the two of us were on pace to make Lloyd and Harry look like Mensa candidates. Not to worry though, if there's one thing I'll say about my sister it's that she's a very quick learner. Please, my mama didn't raise no fools!

"I'm not going to wear these pants anymore" she explained. I wasn't quite following the logic here but she continued, "These pants have holes in both of the pockets and that's where I put the money so I think that's probably how I lost it." Did I also mention that my sister has amazing powers of deduction? I immediately got Angela Lansbury on the blower to let her know that her services would no longer be required because my sister had put an end to this baffling mystery all by her lonesome.

The truth was, my sister was far more annoyed by the whole thing than I was. Sure we couldn't afford to eat for a week but for some reason I found the situation quite funny at the time. It's just money right? Plus, as the Good Book says "Money is the root of all evil." Then again, my dad always told us that the "lack of money was the root of all evil". So I guess you could understand if the two of us didn't know how to feel about the situation. Now that I'm thinking about it, I guess that means that my sister's pants were the root of all evil since they were seriously lacking in the money department. When I think about it that way I guess we were lucky to just lose the $20 considering how often she wore those pants. Speaking of which, I should probably give her a call and make sure she got rid of those pants...and to see if she can lend me $20.