You'll Be Hearing From My Lawyer

So I was talking to my lawyer the other day...The truth is I really don't have a story here about my lawyer it was just an excuse to say "I was talking to my lawyer the other day". I actually just bought a house and I had to hire a lawyer to close the deal. Anyway, I realized that I won't be able to say that very often so I've been trying to max it out. Like today at work I must have said it about half a dozen times in completely inappropriate situations. I'm just realizing that I didn't clarify with my co-workers what I was speaking to my lawyer about. Maybe it's not such a bad idea that they don't know. Maybe they'll think twice before they mess with me for fear of me getting litigious. That could be fun I think. Like the next time a co-worker corners me I'll end the conversation with a quick "Yeah, well we'll see what the jury has to say about that! See you in court sucker!"

Now back to the matter at hand... I am currently writing this entry from the back deck of my new abode and I feel as though I have the world by the tail when I'm sitting here. I think I know why people stay in soul sucking, passionless yet decent paying jobs for their entire lives. At least I think I have a pretty good idea now. I have no problem admitting that my house is no dream house but it's the perfect house for me. I remember when I saw the house for the first time and it was probably around the tenth house I saw. It was sort of like meeting your soul mate except this actually happened. There was this instant connection and I knew that we were meant to be together. I had seen some nice houses (in addition to a few rat traps) but none of them spoke to me in this same way. So here I am, five months later and I've got the world's tail firmly in my grasp.

Despite the fact that I am really enjoying the house I've got to say that one of the reasons I waited so long to buy was the fact that I absolutely detest moving. I realize that nobody really enjoys moving but there are people that don't seem to mind it. Either way, I HATE it. I knew this move was going to be the most painful since I've obviously accumulated more crap since I last moved. When I started packing it became painfully clear just how much of a pack rat I was. There were boxes I hadn't even opened since I last moved two years ago. Logic would dictate that if I could go two years without even looking at those things then I could probably get rid of them. Unfortunately, every time I stumbled upon one of those items I remembered why I had held onto them. "Oh wow, I definitely can't throw out that boarding pass from that flight I took to Atlanta three years ago. I had such a good time on that trip and throwing out that boarding pass would be the equivalent of throwing away those memories."

I was telling a guy a work about my problem and he was explaining to me about how he has a "system" to deal with such difficult decisions. "I gave all of my kids a "sentimental box" and I told them that if they can't fit it in this box then they can't keep it. That way there's a limit to how much stuff they can keep." I was intrigued with the idea but I thought there were a few minor details that just wouldn't work for me. First of all, calling something your "sentimental box" kind of takes a lot of the sentimentality out of it for me. Plus, I would need more of a sentimental room or wing which sort of defeats the whole purpose. Ah well, I shouldn't beat myself up over it - I guess I'm just way more sentimental than most people.

In the end, I did manage to make some tough decisions and got rid of some items that I held near and dear. The abridged list is as follows:
1 Penguin Shaped Ice Shaver
1 copy of Dr. Phil's Self Matters
1 Bowling Pin Lamp
1 Coffee Table with Bowling Pins for Legs
1 Celine Dion CD
1 Gum ball Machine Shaped Fishbowl

Okay, I'm going to have to cut the list short here since it is turning out to be a bit incriminating. In my defense, I always thought there would be an occasion where I'd think "Man I wish I had a penguin shaped ice shaver..." and BAM, I'd have the perfect thing right at my fingertips. Also in my defense, I don't think I actually purchased Dr. Phil's book myself. Although if somebody bought it for me I'm not sure that's much better. I'm just going to assume that somebody left it at my place and I didn't have the heart to get rid of it.

The defense rests.